Well padded

I’m the fattest man in Ireland-

            me name is Sean o’bese

Because I’m hugely rotund

            I now never see me knees.

The shoes I wear are loafers-

            I’d not reach me laces

And to help keep up me trousers

            I wear both belt and braces.

I’ve not played golf for many years

            I cannot see the ball-

And even if I saw it

            Couldn’t hit the thing at all.

I’ll not be falling over

            And landing in a heap-

For in trying to stand up again

            Sure I’d rock myself to sleep.

By She