Jun
2
Mephistopheles Comes to James Bay
Jun 2011
By Hercules Kumseer
True to her word, Frau Doktor Waltraud Steinschleper has found a carrier to transport Mephistopheles to Canada. Having run into negative responses from both passenger and freight companies, she turned to the Canadian Armed Forces, who were most delighted to rise to the challenge.
Employing an extended version of a front-end loader, long in disuse but now put to work, the cheerful soldiers loaded the triple-caged animal into the massive hold of a Lockheed C130 Hercules transporter that they were able to borrow from the Mexican Air Force specifically for this task. The huge turbo-prop lumbered down the runway and took to the air from an undisclosed airport in the Old Country and made its journey across the Atlantic, across the vast expanse of Canada and landed with a thump at the Victoria International Airport.
Once there, it took several hours to clear customs while Mephistopheles hissed and screamed and fussed in her cage. An oversized army truck was readily at hand to receive its unhappy cargo and sped with police escort toward the Pat Bay Highway, narrowly missing two automobiles whose drivers had trouble finding their way through the maze of the new interchange at McTavish Road.
With consummate skill the young soldiers manoeuvred their way to the residence of our own Dr. Sir Rodney Schnockdurgle in James Bay, where bemused neighbours jostled one another in the hope of catching even a glimpse of the celebrated cat.
After carefully extricating Mephistopheles from her cage, Frau Steinschleper and Dr. Schnockdurgle took her for a walk along the Dallas Road beaches. There a strange thing happened. Mephistopheles stopped her spitting and yowling and made no attempt to shake off her leash. She looked about her with obvious interest and allowed the fur on her back to settle comfortably. Her eyes softened, her entire demeanour became one of submissiveness and benignity. Thus composed, she purred softly when walkers bent to scratch her ears.
"I have often heard of the transforming power of these beaches, but this is entirely unprecedented," muttered Dr. Sir Rodney Schnockdurgle. "I will immediately apply for a government grant to study this phenomenon from every angle. Perhaps there is an electro-magnetic or some other mysterious force at work here that affects the spirits of those who visit these shores. It may, for example, provide treatment for the psyches of those who are prone to violence."
Meanwhile, his spouse asked a much more significant question, "Do you think we could rename her and call her Muffy?"