By Shirley O'Kealey

A friend came over last night and told me she had read the James Bay Beacon and had looked for my column. How pleasant to hear such talk. It made me feel quite guilty, so here I am, before breakfast giving up an hour to fill you in. I'll save all the neighbourhood tidbits for another time.

Yes I am back after about five months. I haven't been away. I have found a man! Yes, and at my age! We are both in our seventies. I am old enough to be really surprised at this. I am not saying there aren't any men. What I am saying is that GOOD MEN are scarce and the older you get, the pickier you get, and so, the scarcer they get. Also, I wasn't looking. I was quite satisfied with my life, thank you very much. Even though I have retired from my job and from cooking, I have classes and clubs and hobbies and friends and even a bit of housework to do.

Well, like most men, he takes up all of my free time although we live in separate dwellings. My gosh! It's like being 18 all over again. He has introduced me to his family; several times I have been invited for dinner. His daughter supplies all his meals. In my home we order pizza and my daughter regularly stirs up a huge pot of soup. Just this week, I shared a plate of chips with his grandson. Our parents, of course, are no longer with us so we don't have THAT hurdle to cross. I believe his daughter thinks I am okay. My daughter thinks he and his dog are wonderful.

I tell him he's "perfect" and he tells me I am "precious." Sounds like honeymoon talk, doesn't it. People ask me, "Where did you meet him?" We met in a discussion group, a great place to hear someone speak and what they think about life. Also he smiled and winked at me. He smiles and winks at lots of women. In return, I wrote him a poem saying basically, that we should get together. We had time over Christmas so surreptitiously, we had a date. Last week I came out of retirement, went into the kitchen and cooked him a meal. He'd had severe doubts that I could even boil an egg and had been teasing me about it. I became annoyed and told him that I'd been in and out of kitchens most of my life. He told me that I should HAVE STAYED in the kitchen. Such talk and to ME - a radical feminist! Perhaps, now that I think of it, he is not completely perfect after all and perhaps I am not as radical as I thought I was.

Anyway, I prepared the standard chicken dinner and it went off well. I warned him ahead by a message on the phone that if he gave one word of ridicule or criticism I would never cook again... so he was understandably careful as HE can't do much more than make porridge or boil an egg himself. His specialty is mixing a can of corned beef with mashed potatoes, something I have never aspired to. To give credit where it is due, he does make very refreshing white wine.

We are taking a trip and plan to meet some of our relatives along the way. I've heard that travelling with someone new is a sure way to ruin a good friendship. But I had a holiday last year with a buddy and we are still just fine. However there is a hint of uncertainty about this. Dare I wear my ugly old walking shoes that are naturally my most comfortable pair? Should I sit on the passenger side in front and try to sort our maps, hand him coffee and peppermints or just go to sleep on the back seat while he does all the driving? I think we will agree on the music and the radio station. We will share all expenses even though he eats twice as much as I do. Will we get cranky with the traffic and with each other? Yes, this will be a test. That's what life on Earth is: one long course to study, papers to write, many roads to travel, mountains to climb, rivers to ford and bridges to cross over on this, our huge, spectacular testing station.