By Chat de Noir

In all my years of reporting domestic issues, I have never seen a man more elated than the celebrated Dr. Sir Rodney Schnockdurgle, just recently returned to James Bay.  He was clutching a small pink envelop to his breast, breathless and starry-eyed.

Of course, I questioned him as to the cause of his good cheer, particularly because he so often appears under the spell of great despondency.

"I have just received a letter from my dearly beloved wife in the Old Country."

"And is she well?"

"Most assuredly."

"Would you be willing to share this letter or parts of it with our readers?"

"Normally I would not do so, but since I am perceived, or perceive myself to be, an important personage, I will share some of the salient passages."

He  showed me the envelop, and began to read:  "My dearest husband...."  He stopped suddenly, burst into tears of obvious joy at the salutation.  Then, after taking two or three deep breaths, continued.  "I do hope this finds you in good health, as I also enjoy.  I am in the process of dealing with four offers for our home, all of them solid. I am somewhat reluctant to accept the highest offer, which is from a wealthy cousin who already owns several rental properties.  I would far rather accept the lowest one, from a young couple expecting their first baby.  However, I would not wish to do this without advice from you.

"I have news about Mephistopheles.  I have thought long and hard about your conviction that she is the spawn of Satan, or perhaps that she has been possessed by an evil spirit.  As a result of my musing, I have consulted our local bishop about a possible exorcism.  You remember him, do you not? He is a dear and saintly man.  He assures me that he will consult his archives for a rite to exorcise animals.  I know I will need to do this before even thinking of bringing her to Canada."

At this point, the little man was near tears, and I pressed him no further.  He seemed eager to get on his way, perhaps feeling that he had already shared too much of his private life.

I bade him good day and watched him make his way past New Horizons, greeting everyone as he went, bowing slightly to the ladies, and tipping his hat to the gentlemen.  Nice to see him so happy.