Birds on a Wire

By Shirley O'Kealey

 *BIRDS ON A WIRE:  I watched a sparrow bullying a finch by hopping closer to it and so the finch had to keep moving on down the line. It seems that humans are not the only ones to practice this. It is often part of impressing others with your POWER.

*If you see a large number of crows cawing incessantly up top a high tree, it is likely a racoon sleeping there and they want him gone.

*If we knew all, we would forgive all. This must be a description of God as there aren't many persons like this on our planet. The Dalai Lama and Gandhi are two who come to mind.

*"Religion & Science have one thing in common - Ignorance", Professor Gracing.

*My Singalong Group begins with a listing of those absent, ill, dying or past tense, and cards are set out for us to sign. I am not afraid of dying; I am more afraid that I may leave others with a heavy load. That aside, I think many of us have overstayed our welcome, outlived our usefulness, have poor quality of life and don't wish to remain. Life becomes a a patchwork process as our parts, like those on an old car, begin to fail, Did you read in the news that the beautiful and wealthy movie star, Zsa Zsa Gabor died at 92? She recently had a hip replacement. We have to "give up the ghost" sometime, don't we, no matter how much money we have or how many operations.

"Look at me, I am 'decomposed!' (Isn't this the opposite of "composed"?

Do you want to look instantly younger? Hang out with old people.

Appear instantly taller? Hang out with short people.

Look like you have thick hair? Do an Afro and hang out with baldies.

Appear clever and witty? Hang out with dorks.

Be a successful painter? Paint abstracts. Or take a lesson in something, then teach what you learned to utter beginners. Then take a second lesson and teach that to the same group. They will be in awe of your expertise. A word of advice though. Don't charge anything for your services.

*I don't have a stroller or scooter but I did buy a stand-up. Two-wheeled cart covered with purple plaid that I can easily push or drag to the mall and, without the need of a car, haul quite a lot of groceries home.

*Oh yes, the Mall has a wee store with the most amazing things for sale like battery powered hamsters that run forever on a wheel (they don;t ever need to be fed of changed); a plush puppy that automatically rolls over and over and over while it is accompanied by insane laughter; a furry tail on the floor that hangs out of a paper bag and is moving inside so that there appears to be a playful kitten in the bag and all you have to do is buy the tail and not bother with the whole cat.

My small vegetable garden is over-run with orange Calendula flowers. I have found out that the petals are edible, so SOMETHING is working out for me. Also, I have a yam about 10 feet tall and as big as a tree with dozens of little yams underneath the calendulas. I have six tomatoes on my two plants so that about covers the original cost.

The bees really love those pale purple flowers on the stems of mint. I'm so glad I can do something for the hummingbirds, too, so I stuck  five Scarlet Runner beans in a pot and they turned out really well with a dozen six- inch green beans hanging down. This summer I dug in two blueberry bushes and I believe there is ONE proper berry. Well, as someone said, we have to start somewhere.

*Teenagers require 10 hours of sleep each night. Schools should begin at 9.30 or 10 am, And there should be quiet, settle -down time before they sleep with NO computer, TV, cell-phone, etc. in the bedroom. So say the recent studies.

*I saw a young woman wearing a t-shirt with "ACCESS THIS" printed across her breasts. I am sure this is just a sample of what the schools are dealing with.

*Your French For Today; "One egg on it's own is not an oef." G. d'Estaing.

*Faults are thick where love is thin.

*And finally, some good news on the World Report: a man rescued from drowning. "The man, who had been trying to kill himself, was grateful to be saved."

*Monte says he gets depressed on June 21 to learn the days are getting longer. I believe therefore

*They were so bored they didn't even know they were bored.

*Old teachers never die; they just keep on yakking.

*Old smokers never die; they just keep inhaling.

*William Shatner never dies; he just keeps on trekking.

*It's August now as I write this and the spiders are very busy; a sure sign of fall. There was even the beginning of a web in the kitchen sink. What do you suppose that means?

*Do you think a body could be sued for calling someone creepy? (In print?)

*I had a wonderful weeks visit in Vancouver and you know what I miss? The back alleys! I even took a photograph of one. However, to put tings in perspective, I had several wonderful afternoons: I did the Ambleside walk in West Vancouver; had an evening meal on a deck in view of Grouse Mountain chairlift; watched the sun go down on the Kitsilano sand; picknicked on the beach in Whiterock; roamed around Queen Elizabeth Park; went to Chinatown and almost saw the Sun Yat Sen Garden; I had lunch in Horseshoe Bay; I circled Stanley Park, had fish and chips at Second Beach and sat on the spot where my parents and relatives used to gather on Sundays to swim and share sandwiches. My Uncle would drive us kids home and always stopped at the White Spot for SOFT ICE-CREAM CONES. In the early fifties they were the newest thing. One thing that wasn't as good as it used to be was the Van Dusen Garden. It looked like funds have been cut as it needed care and much more water.

On the ferry, I am happy to relate that they serve porridge. I was too late for it so I had clam chowder. What a mistake. It didn't have flavour and was slimy with too much cornstarch. Coming home on the bus from the ferry there were many tourists and I heard them gasp with appreciation when we came to a hilltop where they first viewed Victoria.  Oohs and Aahs all around.

*In a thrift shoppe today I made my smallest purchase ever;Two towels and an antique puzzle totaling $6.30. It helped that it was Tuesday, Senior's Day at 30% off. If you youngsters are jealous of this simply go with a senior like your Mom or Grandma on a Tuesday and put things in her cart.

*Sidewalk strolling is no longer a quiet pastime as 'most everyone holds a phone to his or her ear and is jabbering away.

* I can't believe the poor writing posture I see everywhere. You know, where people twist their hand right round to hold a pen or pencil and they write with closed fist? I can excuse lefties, but there is no excuse for  right-handed  people to do this. Teachers. Parents, do your job!.

* Dads/Moms: You are perhaps not noticing that your kid tossing bubble-gum (blue & hot-pink) on the sidewalk, but not to worry! Decomposing gum has just been invented.

* I won't stop on a penny, but I'll stop on a dime.

*"New Jeans"? Out front in the store window are jeans with paint spattered on them, not in an artistic fashion, but more like one would look after finishing the kitchen, and there are factory frayed rips and holes, some of them going right through the material.

*Tourists: What is it that makes them so visible? Could it be their confidence and expensive travel wear?

*Sign in Downtown Library Square; "No depositing of Chattel Goods" Now how many of you know what chattel means? Not anyone knowingly depositing them.

*Senior Women Wear Too Much Bright Red Lipstick. Yes, I know. You are harking back to your youth when you were gorgeous, wnt dancing every night and were so popular. With that little tube of lipstick you bring back the good old times. Maybe it's because you think you look pale. Don't do it ladies! Tone it down. It's better to look pale than look like a clown.

*A senior woman in a mini-skirt? And why not, you may ask. I don't know why not because she was tall and slim with tanned, good-looking leg bones, so why not?

*Idle-a-While. Yes, they are out there, the clucks who sit in a vehicle while it idles. Don't they care about planet Earth and life on it? Exhausst from vehicles is our No. 1 pollutant.

*I really like the person and the singer K.D. Lang. I paid to see her, live in Vancouver but her song I like the least id "Constant Craving" It's one of those wailing kind, and I don't care for the constant repetition.

*What about those poor women who struggle on our streets with their high heels? Who or what are they searching for? Will the heels help them find it?

*A not bad looking fellow sat nearby at the bus-stop. He had a white stick he was chewing on. I thought it was candy but he pulled out something and lit the end of it. A few seconds later, he spat on the ground, and then spat again. I didn't think he was so handsome anymore.

*Today I saw a man butt out his cigarette on a tree trunk addinf to my never-before-voiced belief that all smokers are pigs and all pigs are now smokers.

*"Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action." B. Disraeli.

*"A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives you roses." Chinese proverb.