I’m the only Christmas Cracker

            that’s been packed without a snapper

When I’m pulled I won’t go BANG

                                    I’ll only huff.

I look lovely on the outside

            but I’m missing all my inside

no motto’s hats or toys

                                    and useless stuff.

Tho’ I sparkle and I shimmer

            I’m really dreading Christmas dinner

When all will see that I’m not

                                    up to snuff.

I’m sure the folk who pack us

            must now themselves be Crackers

round the bend or slightly BONKERS

                                    serves ‘em right!!