First night of college

By trudy chiswell

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and …let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” Hebrews 12:1

It was September 1987. Students with briefcases swinging at their sides hurried down the hallway and disappeared. Long halls skirted around a glassed entrance area and then shot off in different directions. Not daring to hesitate too long, lest someone think that I was lost, I followed the hallway hoping for a sign to give me directions. A road map for this building would have been most helpful at this time!

Terror! It hung over my head like a frozen block of ice as I stood there in the hallway. I had driven the previous day to find the college, the parking lot and even the front door, but I had failed to find the classroom.

My new Levi jeans and Reebok runners were my feeble attempt to fit in as much as possible on the first evening of college. Panic ebbed and flowed like the river of students around me. They all appeared to have a predetermined destination, while I was confused by the labyrinth of halls. I wondered if I would ever find the right room. Perhaps it was a mistake to even entertain the dream of going back to school at my age.

I was carried along in the crush of students, until ahead of me I saw the friendly face of a security guard giving directions. “At last, the infantry had arrived to rescue me!” After he pointed me in the right direction, I again followed the hallway until I found room E117.

As I stood at the door, terror enveloped me again. I felt like vomiting! Just as I was trying to decide whether to enter the room or bolt for the exit, a woman about my age came toward me. She looked intently at me, and I was afraid that she could see the terror in my eyes. Stopping directly in front of me she asked, “Is this English One?” Chuckling to myself at the realization that I was not alone in my apprehension, I nodded, and we went into the classroom together.

Sliding into a seat on the far side of the room so that I could observe all the proceedings, I hoped that no one would notice me. Particularly the teacher! I was relieved to see other mature students in the class. Perhaps I would make it through the evening after all.

At 44, most women are settling down to think of grandchildren, bridge parties and ceramic classes, and here I was just starting on my post-secondary education. I pinched myself to make sure that this was not just a dream. I had finally made it to college! But of course it was a dream – my dream for the future. Two years earlier I had begun my quest and now I stood on the threshold of another door that I must open.

Fear continued to hound me, but I wouldn’t quit. I was now bitten by the bug of learning. Each time I had to push through the fear to do something, I would remember each of the new experiences I had accomplished successfully. It gave me courage to push through the fear again and again to grasp the prize on the other side of the doorway. The initial terror had passed – the process had begun – the dream will become reality.

After that first night of College Night School I completed many classes, but the process was not going fast enough to quench my thirst for learning. It would take me forever to complete a college diploma at this rate! I decided to muster up all my courage, quit my full-time job and go back to school full-time for a three year college diploma.