Friendship matters

By Pene Beavan Horton 

I have been blessed to have four significant Betty's in my life... each of them a treasure in her own way. 

My young friend, Betty P., from 70 years ago... we were at school together in Salisbury, Rhodesia. I lost touch with her after we both married and I immigrated to Canada, but our school days were much enlivened by our sharing them with each other.

My dear friend, Betty P.J., from my early days in Canada until she recently passed away. We both wrote, talked, and shared many moments of our lives together for the next fifty years.  I remember us in our early thirties, sitting on a log on one of Vancouver's beaches, with me urging her to write if that was what she wanted to do. She had very young twin sons at the time ... I had mine later. She went on to become an international sports/travel adventurer who wrote books and articles about her adventures.

My other dear friend, Betty G., I met in church. She entered my life when my twins were born, forty or so years ago, and her kindness, generosity and flair for cooking East Indian food are now cherished memories. She was a person who could not see another's lack and not go to their aid. 

Then there is my new friend, Betty M., whom I met by chance while we waited to catch a plane home from Munich Airport in 2013. We chatted for about five minutes, exchanged a few details about where we lived, and an email address, and have been corresponding via short emails ever since. Betty celebrated her 90^th birthday recently and is now on a trip to Austria and Switzerland. I don't know Betty, except from her brief emails. But to me, her emails reveal that she embodies the best of her generation's sterling character, kindness and love of family and country. 

Each of these wonderful women has enriched my life in unique ways and I am so grateful for their friendship and impact on my life. Hillaire Belloc says:  "From quiet homes and small beginnings, out to the undiscovered ends, there's nothing worth the wear of winning but laughter and the love of friends..."

It seems that friendship is something that is also born from small beginnings, a candle flicker of recognition that someone will prove to be a kindred spirit. 

I have other dear friends, (not called Betty!), and I am grateful for their friendship as we share each other's lives. 

But these four Betty’s are like threads of music running through my life and they have been there from the beginning of my life through to the end ...  to be of worth, friendship must be mutually cherished and nurtured ... one loves and forgives ones friends with total generosity of spirit ... rejoices in their successes, weeps with them when they weep, but holds out a loving hand to strengthen them when needed. 

Friendship is very close to godliness...perhaps it is holy and should be treated as such. 

"Friendship is the only cement that will hold the world together," said Winston Churchill. 

How blessed I am to have such cement in my life and to try to be that kind of cement for my friends, whatever letter of the alphabet their dear names start with.